Fear of Getting Older

I don’t write this in reference to me getting older (that’s what my eye cream is for!), but I’ve been experiencing something lately that I’m sure every mom can relate to: I don’t want my kids to grow up.

I know this may sound silly. I remember hearing other moms talk about it before I became a mom, and I just didn’t get it. Why wouldn’t you want your kids to grow up and get older?

Here’s the thing. Porter just turned 3 a few months ago, and Cayia is 8 months. Right now they are these perfect tiny human beings, and it’s almost as if I want to remember them like this always. I remember feeling this way when Porter was around Cayia’s age. The closer he got to 1, the more I freaked out, but with him, this fear of him getting older has been especially prominent lately. 

He amazes me every day. He isn’t even a toddler anymore. He is straight up little boy. He wants to do things by himself and he often says things like “No, don’t help me,” or “No, I do it myself.” And then I cry because I feel like he doesn’t need me anymore.

I know he does need me, and sometimes he will still walk up to me and say, “Mommy, hold me?” and if I’m able and not holding Cayia, I always snatch him up in my arms. Who knows when I’ll no longer be able to do that (or worse, when he stops asking.) 


The other night we were putting Porter to bed, and he crawled into my lap and put his head on my shoulder, and I swear my heart just burst. I wrapped my arms around him and just hugged him. Sure, his legs were dangling off my lap, but I held him “like a baby” as he says, and kissed his head and cherished the moment.  

Porter is so damn smart. I know every parent probably thinks this about her own child, but I am amazed by how much he learns and retains every day.  For Christmas, David’s sister bought Porter a Thomas Me Reader Electronic Library. He loves it.  All the pictures on the fronts of the books are almost identical, but somehow he can decipher between them. He knows which one is Helpful Thomas versus Thomas Makes a Wish. Truthfully, if I only had the pictures to go off of, and the titles weren’t there, I honestly wouldn’t know which book was which.  

He also knows what a semi-circle is. I don’t know why, but I can’t get over this. The other day we were coloring in his Thomas coloring book (do you see a trend?) and on Thomas’s body, there is a semi-circle. Out of nowhere he said, “I’m gonna color the semi-circle blue.” My jaw dropped. Who the heck taught you what a semi-circle was, kid?  I then quizzed him and opened to a bunch of pages and asked him to find me other semi-circles. 


I am also amazed by his vocabulary and pronunciation of most words. I think most people who met him now would not believe that he was ever in speech therapy. He can say delicious (and it’s so cute because he stresses the lish part), temperature, and ankylosaurus to name a few.  He still pronounces waffles like faffles most of the time, though, and while I’m sure I should, I don’t correct him half the time because I think it’s so cute. 

And don’t get me started on Cayia. Right now she is the perfect size for snuggling. When I hold her vertically, her head fits perfectly on my shoulder and my arm perfectly under her butt. She snuggles so close, and it makes my hurt heart thinking that she probably won’t snuggle with me for very much longer. (Fun fact: I was looking through some papers the other day, and both Cayia and Porter were exactly 25 inches at their 6 month appointments. I can’t wait to compare their 9 month stats!) 


I can’t believe she’s closer to one now than she is to being a newborn. I know a lot of people say they are babies until they are two, but she doesn’t even seem like a baby anymore. At times I wonder what she’ll be like at Porter’s age, or I even try to imagine her 6 months from now, but then I stop myself because I feel like I’m wishing away all this time, and I want her to stay a baby forever. 


I spent some time yesterday organizing and sorting some of her clothes that no longer fit her into bins. There were so many adorable outfits that she was only able to wear once or twice, and it’s just hard to believe that she’s changing and growing so quickly. She gives the sweetest, biggest, gummiest smiles. In fact, every day when I pick her up from day care, I rush in to see her because I know a sweet smile awaits me. (Porter is a whole nother story, by the way. He always says “No!” when I arrive and whines that he wants to stay and play with his friends.) 

So, most days my life seems crazy, and most of the time I feel like I’m a part of an unwinnable rat race, as I multitask ten billion things as once. This is really really hard for me, but I need to try to slow down and ignore the craziness and the mess, and just accept this phase of motherhood. I need to let Porter stay up a few minutes later, and not think about the dishes when he begs to read “one more book.” I need to ignore the laundry that’s been sitting in the laundry basket for three days on the couch and get down on the floor with my kids instead. It’s going to take a lot of effort on my part, but I know that in a week, a month, a year, I’ll be glad that I did. 

While I’ll always see them as my babies, they’ll only be babies once. 


7 Months of Baby Girl

So, forgive me, but I totally skipped out on Cayia’s 6 month update. She’s now 7 months old ( and pretty much almost 8 months at this point), It’s hard to believe that she is now closer to being 1 than she is to being a newborn. Where has the time gone?!

How is this nugget 6 months old already!

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Cayia has had a cold for what seems like forever. In fact, in the picture above, she was still pretty sick! It started the week before Christmas and she’s still getting over it. She’s definitely much better, and all that’s left of her symptoms is a runny nose. It was a rough period there for awhile and we had a lot of sleepless nights, but I’m glad to say that it seems that we’re on the way to being healthy again (though I can’t say our nights are always full of sleep.) 

Milestones: Our biggest milestone is that Cayia has a tooth! It wasn’t quite as traumatic as our experience with Porter’s first tooth (thank goodness.) I’ve been making it a habit to check her gums every day and a few days ago I checked one evening and noticed that her bottom gums were extremely white. I said, “I bet she pops a tooth tomorrow.” And she did! She was pretty proud of herself, too. 


Baby girl has been eating solid foods! We are doing baby led weaning (as we did with Porter) and it’s amazing how quickly she caught on. If you think about it, babies naturally put everything in their mouths, and as soon as she got a taste of food, she’s tried everything we’ve put in front of her. I forgot how messy it is, but at least we have Maggie to help clean up the mess.  She is also drinking out of a straw cup and is able to grab the cup and drink on her own when she wants! It’s amazing to watch.

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Baby girl is not completely sitting up on her own, though she can for short periods of time. Porter was sitting up by this point, but I’m not really freaking out because I know every baby is different. That said, while she isn’t army crawling yet, I do think she’ll crawl a lot faster than Porter did (he was such a late crawler) but we’ll see! 

Cayia is the happiest baby and is always all smiles (Okay, not always, but most of the time she has a smile on her face!) She loves to coo, talk, and squeal, and Porter loves to translate what she’s saying. 


We love you, baby girl! 


Porter is THREE!

Porter turned THREE a few days ago, and  absolutely cannot believe how quickly the past three years have gone. When he turned two, there was still a lot of baby left in him. Now he’s just straight up a little man. David taught him how to pee standing up.  If that doesn’t say “little man,” I don’t know what does! 

If three was an adjective that described a child’s behavior or temperament instead of age, I would say that Porter is REALLY three (if that makes sense.)  He is absolutely adorable, hilarious, ornery, and frustrating.  


He is so smart. I know every parent probably think his/her child is smart, but he really is. It’s amazing how quickly he picks up on things, and he can be so manipulative. He sure knows how to work the system in his favor. For instance, yesterday it had been awhile since he had gone potty, so I suggested that we go and try. He said “Okay. I go potty and then I get candy.” I said “Well, no. That wasn’t really part of our agreement, buddy.” He completely ignored me and walked to the bathroom while talking to himself saying, “I go potty and get candy.” He has also recently started to bargain with us. If he asks to play after dinner before bedtime, sometimes we’ll say something like “Okay. You can play for ten minutes before it’s bedtime.” He’ll just look at us and respond with “How about twenty minutes?” Like, who are you, kid?! 

One of his favorite responses when he doesn’t want to do something is “No, I don’t.” Usually this involves a pouty lip and sometimes tears, as well.  Likewise, for awhile, he was throwing fits and saying “I need it!” to everything that he wanted but wasn’t getting. We tried to teach him the difference between “I want” and “I need.” He seems to understand and says “I want” a lot now, but he still doesn’t like when he asks for something that he doesn’t get. I can be a pushover, but sorry, you can’t have a piece of chocolate at 7:00 a.m. 


I am amazed at the words and phrases that he’s been using on a regular basis lately, too. Recently he’s been saying “probably” and for some reason I find it hilarious.  We were doing a puzzle the other night and when I asked him if a certain piece fit in a spot, he said “probably.” Later, I prompted him to find a certain piece and he said, “I’m working on it.” Another hilarious phrase he has started saying is “I’m on it.” If we ask him to do something, he sometimes announces, “I’m on it!” and runs to go do whatever it is we asked. This kid is something else, I tell ya. 

He thrives on routine, which often works in our favor, but sometimes it backfires. If we do something once, it suddenly turns into exactly how we need to do it every time.  Lately, his bedtime routine needs to be followed to a T or complete chaos ensues. The other night David let Porter turn off the bathroom light with his toes after a bath (don’t ask) and now he wants to turn the light off with his toes all the time.


He’s extremely independent at times and wants to do a lot of things all by himself. “All by myself” is a phrase we hear multiple times a day. So, when he asks me to hold him, I can’t help but to give in and pick him up. I always squeeze him extra tight because I know that there will be a day soon when he no longer cares about mommy holding him tight. 

We celebrated Porter’s birthday with a small party a few days before Christmas. I designed some simple invites. I wanted to use a picture that showed how grown up he has become. 



He was so excited and loved having people over for his party. Whenever anyone told him “Happy Birthday,” he screamed in response, “Happy Birthday!” It was too cute. He loved getting sung to and blowing out the candles. 


On his actual birthday, we started the day with funfetti birthday pancakes (a tradition in our home) and had a pretty lazy day at home. Plus, the weather was awful, and the roads were covered with ice, so we didn’t mind staying home and cuddling in our jammies most of the day. I also bombarded my newsfeed with some of my favorite Porter pictures throughout the day. 



All in all, this little boy amazes me more and more every day. I feel so lucky to be his mommy, and while I’m trying to teach him things such as manners, how to deal with his emotions, and why it’s not nice to yell “boo!” in Cayia’s face, I know he teaches me so much more than I will ever teach him. 

Porter, we love you, buddy. Thank you for bringing so much joy into our lives. 


Happy Holidays from the Blythes!

Merry Christmas Eve, my friends! We are all nursing colds over here, but I am enjoying some unusually warm weather for Indiana and some time off of work with my babies. Christmas Eve has always been one of my favorite days of the year, but it is especially special to me since it was Porter’s due date.

Here’s the Christmas card we sent out this year. David thought I was silly for dressing them up in matching jammies, but the outcome was adorable. I can’t wait to dress them both in these jammies tonight, too! 

HolidayCard2015I know Cayia doesn’t seem too happy, but the backside shows how much she loves her big brother.


This season has been extra special to us because for the first time, Porter is starting to understand the magic of Christmas.  In years past, he wasn’t quite old enough to understand the idea of Santa or gifts, really, but it has been so cute to watch him experience it this year. He had lots of fun helping us decorate the tree, and he didn’t take the ornaments off and yell “ball!” and throw them on the ground like he did last year. #progress


A few years ago, a friend of ours bought us Elf on the Shelf. We hadn’t brought it out since we thought Porter was too young, but this year we did. We named him Riggle, and while I’m not sure Porter entirely understands what he’s for, it’s been fun to watch his reaction to Riggle’s antics. At first he was kind of scared of him, but he warmed up to him within a few days. 


Side note: apparently there aren’t any E’s in Alpha Bits cereal?! I had to perform surgery on a B to be able to spell Porter’s name. 


Even though he was excited to go see Santa, he wasn’t too sure about him once it was actually our turn to see him. So far, we are 0 for 3 with our Santa visits. Cayia didn’t mind hanging out with St. Nick, though! 


From our family to yours, have a very happy holiday! 

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