Laughter and Tears

I think today was the first time I laughed since all this has happened. It felt good…really good. It was at lunch and some of my co-workers and I were talking about poop (which is totally not a good topic to talk about at lunch, but it happens.) Oddly enough, the only male in the room was the most bothered by our conversation.

On a different topic, on the way home from school today, I heard two different Brad Paisley songs on two different radio stations. The first one was the song that David and I danced to at our wedding: Brad Paisley’s “Then.” At the exact moment I turned to this radio station, the line starting with “I can just see you with a baby on the way” started and I just broke down in tears. The song continued and I heard: “We’ll look back some day at this moment that we’re in / and I’ll look at you and say and I thought I loved you then.” I thought about David and reminded myself how lucky we are to have each other. I can honestly say that there is no person in this world who knows me better than he does. I can’t imagine a more perfect person for me, and though tears were still streaming down my face, I smiled a bit at the end of the song.

I switched radio stations (not because I was crying, but because this one went to commercial) and I don’t remember what song was on when I turned it. After that song ended, though, ANOTHER Brad Paisley song started, and this one really got me going. It was his song “Anything Like Me” and this song I caught from the beginning.

“I remember sayin’ I don’t care either way / Just as long as he or she is healthy I’m ok / Then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen /And said “Ya see that thing right there well ya know what that means”/ And I started wondering who he was going to be / And I thought heaven help us if he’s anything like me / He’ll probably climb a tree too tall and ride he’s bike too fast / End up every summer wearin something in a cast / He’s gonna throw a ball and break some glass in a window down the street / He’s gonna get in trouble oh hes gonna get in fights / I’m gonna lose my temper and some sleep/ It’s safe to say that I’m gonna get my pay back if he’s anything like me”

David and I have joked about this song before, especially when we think about the possibility of having a boy. It’s not that David was a BAD kid growing up (I mean how bad can you be when you have adorable dimples and a flat top?) but he definitely caused a raucous and I would win the “who was a better kid” category hands down.

While it was difficult listening to those two songs, it helped me cope in a way, too. While I’m sure I looked ridiculous to anyone who saw me driving in my car, I’m glad I didn’t change the radio stations, as I could have easily done.

And now…off to do some yoga, even though I would much rather climb in bed with a book.

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