Category Archives: Cayia

Fear of Getting Older

I don’t write this in reference to me getting older (that’s what my eye cream is for!), but I’ve been experiencing something lately that I’m sure every mom can relate to: I don’t want my kids to grow up.

I know this may sound silly. I remember hearing other moms talk about it before I became a mom, and I just didn’t get it. Why wouldn’t you want your kids to grow up and get older?

Here’s the thing. Porter just turned 3 a few months ago, and Cayia is 8 months. Right now they are these perfect tiny human beings, and it’s almost as if I want to remember them like this always. I remember feeling this way when Porter was around Cayia’s age. The closer he got to 1, the more I freaked out, but with him, this fear of him getting older has been especially prominent lately. 

He amazes me every day. He isn’t even a toddler anymore. He is straight up little boy. He wants to do things by himself and he often says things like “No, don’t help me,” or “No, I do it myself.” And then I cry because I feel like he doesn’t need me anymore.

I know he does need me, and sometimes he will still walk up to me and say, “Mommy, hold me?” and if I’m able and not holding Cayia, I always snatch him up in my arms. Who knows when I’ll no longer be able to do that (or worse, when he stops asking.) 


The other night we were putting Porter to bed, and he crawled into my lap and put his head on my shoulder, and I swear my heart just burst. I wrapped my arms around him and just hugged him. Sure, his legs were dangling off my lap, but I held him “like a baby” as he says, and kissed his head and cherished the moment.  

Porter is so damn smart. I know every parent probably thinks this about her own child, but I am amazed by how much he learns and retains every day.  For Christmas, David’s sister bought Porter a Thomas Me Reader Electronic Library. He loves it.  All the pictures on the fronts of the books are almost identical, but somehow he can decipher between them. He knows which one is Helpful Thomas versus Thomas Makes a Wish. Truthfully, if I only had the pictures to go off of, and the titles weren’t there, I honestly wouldn’t know which book was which.  

He also knows what a semi-circle is. I don’t know why, but I can’t get over this. The other day we were coloring in his Thomas coloring book (do you see a trend?) and on Thomas’s body, there is a semi-circle. Out of nowhere he said, “I’m gonna color the semi-circle blue.” My jaw dropped. Who the heck taught you what a semi-circle was, kid?  I then quizzed him and opened to a bunch of pages and asked him to find me other semi-circles. 


I am also amazed by his vocabulary and pronunciation of most words. I think most people who met him now would not believe that he was ever in speech therapy. He can say delicious (and it’s so cute because he stresses the lish part), temperature, and ankylosaurus to name a few.  He still pronounces waffles like faffles most of the time, though, and while I’m sure I should, I don’t correct him half the time because I think it’s so cute. 

And don’t get me started on Cayia. Right now she is the perfect size for snuggling. When I hold her vertically, her head fits perfectly on my shoulder and my arm perfectly under her butt. She snuggles so close, and it makes my hurt heart thinking that she probably won’t snuggle with me for very much longer. (Fun fact: I was looking through some papers the other day, and both Cayia and Porter were exactly 25 inches at their 6 month appointments. I can’t wait to compare their 9 month stats!) 


I can’t believe she’s closer to one now than she is to being a newborn. I know a lot of people say they are babies until they are two, but she doesn’t even seem like a baby anymore. At times I wonder what she’ll be like at Porter’s age, or I even try to imagine her 6 months from now, but then I stop myself because I feel like I’m wishing away all this time, and I want her to stay a baby forever. 


I spent some time yesterday organizing and sorting some of her clothes that no longer fit her into bins. There were so many adorable outfits that she was only able to wear once or twice, and it’s just hard to believe that she’s changing and growing so quickly. She gives the sweetest, biggest, gummiest smiles. In fact, every day when I pick her up from day care, I rush in to see her because I know a sweet smile awaits me. (Porter is a whole nother story, by the way. He always says “No!” when I arrive and whines that he wants to stay and play with his friends.) 

So, most days my life seems crazy, and most of the time I feel like I’m a part of an unwinnable rat race, as I multitask ten billion things as once. This is really really hard for me, but I need to try to slow down and ignore the craziness and the mess, and just accept this phase of motherhood. I need to let Porter stay up a few minutes later, and not think about the dishes when he begs to read “one more book.” I need to ignore the laundry that’s been sitting in the laundry basket for three days on the couch and get down on the floor with my kids instead. It’s going to take a lot of effort on my part, but I know that in a week, a month, a year, I’ll be glad that I did. 

While I’ll always see them as my babies, they’ll only be babies once. 


7 Months of Baby Girl

So, forgive me, but I totally skipped out on Cayia’s 6 month update. She’s now 7 months old ( and pretty much almost 8 months at this point), It’s hard to believe that she is now closer to being 1 than she is to being a newborn. Where has the time gone?!

How is this nugget 6 months old already!

Sick as a dog but still cute as a button! (1)

Cayia has had a cold for what seems like forever. In fact, in the picture above, she was still pretty sick! It started the week before Christmas and she’s still getting over it. She’s definitely much better, and all that’s left of her symptoms is a runny nose. It was a rough period there for awhile and we had a lot of sleepless nights, but I’m glad to say that it seems that we’re on the way to being healthy again (though I can’t say our nights are always full of sleep.) 

Milestones: Our biggest milestone is that Cayia has a tooth! It wasn’t quite as traumatic as our experience with Porter’s first tooth (thank goodness.) I’ve been making it a habit to check her gums every day and a few days ago I checked one evening and noticed that her bottom gums were extremely white. I said, “I bet she pops a tooth tomorrow.” And she did! She was pretty proud of herself, too. 


Baby girl has been eating solid foods! We are doing baby led weaning (as we did with Porter) and it’s amazing how quickly she caught on. If you think about it, babies naturally put everything in their mouths, and as soon as she got a taste of food, she’s tried everything we’ve put in front of her. I forgot how messy it is, but at least we have Maggie to help clean up the mess.  She is also drinking out of a straw cup and is able to grab the cup and drink on her own when she wants! It’s amazing to watch.

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Baby girl is not completely sitting up on her own, though she can for short periods of time. Porter was sitting up by this point, but I’m not really freaking out because I know every baby is different. That said, while she isn’t army crawling yet, I do think she’ll crawl a lot faster than Porter did (he was such a late crawler) but we’ll see! 

Cayia is the happiest baby and is always all smiles (Okay, not always, but most of the time she has a smile on her face!) She loves to coo, talk, and squeal, and Porter loves to translate what she’s saying. 


We love you, baby girl! 


2015 Holiday Gift Guide: Toddlers & Babies

I can’t believe Christmas is only a month away.  I don’t know about you, but I need to get a move on with my shopping. If you’re looking for some gift ideas for your toddler or baby, here are some things that either I have already purchased (or plan on purchasing) or that my kids already have and love! 

baby toddler gift guide

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You really can’t go wrong with books, and Porter is obsessed with his Pigeon books. He also has one Pete the Cat book that he loves, but I’m looking to add more to his collection. He was introduced to Pete the Cat by one of this speech therapists, and he immediately loved it. 

Porter has three sets of these blocks. They are perfect for tiny hands (and also perfect for building “castles” which is his thing lately.)  He’s been playing with these for at least a year and a half now, and he still loves them. 

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My sister bought Porter one of these personalized pillowcases from Pillows2 a few months ago, and Porter loves it. Whenever I change his sheets and put this in the wash, he asks where his dinosaur pillow is. This is the perfect gift for any toddler (they have tons of different options, too, including some adorable princess ones for girls!) 

Both of my kiddos desperately need jammies, so they are definitely on our list. Old Navy has such cute ones (and they’re affordable, too!) I know Porter will love the train jammies and I love the Christmas light bulb ones for baby girl. 

I found these Brain Quest Question Cards at Marshall’s a few weeks ago and I snatched them up because I thought they would be perfect for Porter. 

I love bandana bibs! They’re so much cuter than normal bibs.  I saw these and thought they’d be perfect for Cayia’s stocking. They also have plenty of boy options, too! 

Porter loves his play kitchen (we have this KidKraft one) and he loves to make us onion, tomato, and peanut butter sandwiches. I know it won’t be long before Cayia starts to play with it, too, so I’m hoping to add this play toaster to the set. Porter played with his second cousin’s play toaster recently and loved it! 

I’m having a really hard time shopping for Cayia. I know she’s a baby and doesn’t really need much if anything, but Porter was only three days shy of turning one at his first Christmas, so it was a lot easier to shop for him. I found this owl stackerhedgehog rattle, and pop! pop! piano and thought they’d be fun little gifts for Cayia. Finally, it won’t be long before she’s eating real food, so I thought a girly plate and bowl set (though Skip Hop has tons of options) would be nice so she doesn’t have to eat off of Porter’s dinosaur ones. 

Last but not least, Porter loves to draw on our giant chalkboard that we have right off of our kitchen. I figured he’d enjoy his own chalkboard and knew this would be a perfect addition to his playroom. I love that you can add a roll of paper, too! 

If you have any great baby or toddler gift ideas, I’d love to hear them!

Have a happy and restful Thanksgiving! 

Where’s my Baby? (Cayia at 5 Months)

Okay, so I realize this is going to sound utterly ridiculous, and know Cayia is only 5 months old, but I already feel like she’s not a baby anymore. I know that she is still a baby, but she’s growing too quickly and I just can’t take it. I know I will blink and before I know it, she’ll be walking and talking and asking me to put her hair in pigtails (she’ll have to grow some hair first.)  We’re going to start her on solids next month, and I can’t believe it’s already time for that! We went the baby led weaning route with Porter, and we plan to do the same with Cayia. She watches us a lot while we eat, and she’s reached out for a few things before, so she’s definitely interested. 


She is rolling over both ways which has actually caused some issues as of late. Even though she rolled from her belly to her back first, in the middle of the night, she will often roll from her back to her belly and then, for lack of a better term, she gets royally pissed.  I don’t know if she’s doing it while she’s completely asleep, and even though she can roll from her belly to her back, for some reason she won’t roll herself back.   This is happening a few times a night, and just rolling her back does not solve the problem. Once she’s upset, she won’t calm down unless I nurse her. I’m worried we’re forming a bad habit, but I don’t know what to do otherwise. Porter never had this issue. Of course all this is happening right after she just started to sleep better at night. I know I should be all “Yay! She’s so strong! She’s rolling over!” but baby girl, I like my sleep, too. Let’s hope it’s just a (short) phase. 


Baby girl is cooing, laughing, and interacting with us a lot.  Porter loves to make her laugh, and it usually doesn’t take much. If Porter laughs (even if it’s a fake laugh) she often erupts into giggles.


I love watching Porter interact with her. He loves her so much that it makes my heart hurt. I don’t know how many times a day he says “Give Cayia a hug and a kiss?” It’s seriously the cutest.  Just last night, David was trying to make  Cayia laugh and was saying “Hi, baby girl!” over and over again. Porter put his hand on David’s arm to stop him (he’s so grown up, that boy) and said, “No, Daddy. My turn.” Then he turned to Cayia and said with a big smile plastered on his face, “Hi, baby Cayia, hi!” I hope they stay the best of friends (and I especially hope he continues to look after her and protects her from mean boys when she’s older.) 

month5-68Cayia is also sucking her thumb which is something Porter never did. At first we were worried about it, and I had visions of her being the only kindergartner who still sucked her thumb, but then I quit worrying. It helps soothe her, and like everything else, I know it’s just a phase. 


So, baby girl, try not to grow up too fast and stay a baby just a tad bit longer.